January 6, 2016 Betrayal, Forgiveness and Redemption

Photo by Donna Sherman

I am thinking outside the box more and more these days.   Which is what a good Hypnotist needs to do because, Lord knows, we already know too well what’s in the box.
And what we seek probably isn't .

It's January and I am thinking about Betrayal, Forgiveness and Redemption.
The first one is easy for humans, the second two; not so much.
And yet they are all 3 bound up together are they not?
I have had clients come to see me to find a way to move past betrayals and being that I do not have superpowers to cause the Betrayer to be struck dead,  or the situation to disappear ...I have to offer them something else.

While  not leading them to any path I have in mind; I can hold their hand in the dark and offer flashlight to light the map they already have in their pocket.  Hypnotherapy can help one see they at least have a map...

Hmm, what is this map?  What does it lead to? 
 A map to PEACE in their own heart about it.
Which when you are in the red hot grip of being wronged, is the hardest direction to follow "find peace".
Turn the other cheek,  love the Betrayer, forgive them, understand them, understand why, this is what we are told to aim for yet ...but these can be very empty and even enraging concepts to one who is suffering hurt and betrayal.   Heard at the wrong time, they  beg to be flung away and rejected.  Because they are the destination, not the journey..
And all too often, by rejecting them initially, we also add further self flagellation into the mix thinking there is something wrong with us, because we can't "just forgive".. We turn to drink, drugs, violence, religion, etc  to please make us pretend we can actually forgive this or that jackass.  
A direct command or suggestion to forgive at the wrong stage of the journey, is going to go over about as well as a big fat, expensive parking ticket on the hood of your perfectly legally parked car!  NO YOU CAN NOT AND WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS!
And what do want to do, seeing that ticket there? Pay it quietly?
Yeah...No.  We are pretty much all the same in this aspect.  The last thing we want to do is pay that ticket meekly.  
Just how much will getting that ticket play into our self narrative of “the way things are”?  I am going to go ahead and say “a lot.”  
Too much?  Very possibly. Especially when it overrides much worthier things.  

Nowadays with social media a part of most people's lives it is harder and harder not to look for the betrayer online, soak in their details of how fine they seem to be...how their contemptible actions have (seemingly) not affected them even slightly.  

But as Neil Young sings in one of my favorite songs ever:  "There is more to the picture, than meets the eye.."

And so there is.   Maybe the betrayer and the betray-ee are locked in a dance with two entirely different songs playing.  Each with their rhythm, each with their own truth.
Maybe a first step on your map, is to at least see the dance floor.

Consciously,  maybe you already do.  Maybe you understand their motivations, even if you don't agree with them.
Subconsciously is where this feeling needs to live though.  And this is the hard part.  
And everyone is going to get to it a different way.
Sometimes people just need to be heard.
Sometimes people just need to understand and be understood.
Sometimes people need to zoom way out and look at it all from above, see both dancers dancing to their own music. Two warriors fighting their own wars.

There are many paths to integrate the right knowledge about a situation subconsciously, and one WILL get you where you want to go.
To a place of peace.

Imagine your life free of blinding pain when you think about someone or something.
Can you? Do you want to? What would your life be without that pain?
This is a good place to start.  :)

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